She must get lost. A lot.

When you temp for a living, you get to meet a lot of interesting people. And by "interesting," I mean to say "functionally insane." I guess you can say that on some level everyone is sanity-challenged, including me (did I mention that I temp for a living?). But it's my blog, so I've decided that I am the sane person in the room. And the voices in my head agree with me, so there!

Anyway, this brush with the bizarre occurred during my first week on a temp job. "Abby" was showing me the ropes. As she trained me on what I was to do, Abby handled a multi-line phone and juggled several responsibilities at the same time without breaking a sweat. All in all, she was a very competent person. So there's NO WAY someone like that would open up a can of CRAZY, right?

Well, during a slow moment in the day, Abby complimented me on my manicure. I thanked her and said that if she was interested, I had it done at the nail shop across the street, just north of this building. I tried to point in the direction of north, but the area where we were sitting did not have any windows, and being new to the job, I didn't have my bearings. Abby, surprisingly, did not know either; however, she mentioned that she had a compass in her desk that could help us.

A compass? Really? This wasn't a temp job at the Timberland Outlet Store. This was a paper pushing job at your standard office building. There was no conceivable reason why anyone would need a compass. But no worries: I'm sure there was a perfectly reasonable explanation for her having a compass. Maybe it was a keychain. Or maybe it was part of some novelty paperweight. Or heck, maybe she was an avid hiker and liked to keep her compass/GPS locator with her at all times because she never knew when the urge to go hiking would overcome her and she liked to be prepared. Whatever.

So, imagine my shock when she pulled a mouse pad out of one of her desk drawers. A MOUSE PAD. One of those little flat pieces of foam and cloth that you place under your computer's mouse to make it glide easier. A. MOUSE. PAD.

It was one of the company's promotional mouse pads-- it was circular and had a pattern of a compass printed on it. It represented the company's slogan which was something like, "using this company's products is going in the right direction." But it couldn't have been more not a compass. And yet I sat in stunned silence while this very accomplished woman ROTATED THAT MOUSE PAD clock-wise and counter clock-wise, trying to "adjust" it so that it faced north. After several long seconds, Abby finally gave up and said to me, "I guess this won't help."

No, I guess not.

[Note: I am completely joking when I say "the voices in my head." I once made that joke with a casual acquaintance, and she looked at me funny for the rest of the evening. Please don't assume that it is a cry for help. I let my drinking do that for me. KIDDING!]